Diary Entry 27.06

For a moment I thought you were my constant but I guess we can’t really tell how the stars are aligned from down here

It was beautiful, a fantastic moment, a terrific heart-rush from all the currents you circuited

But it was short-lived and now all I do is talk to the moon and the wind about you

Well at least I did before the same wind took you and the memory of you away

Very short-lived indeed!

Lotsa love

LYDRAH 🧡 🍂

WEDNESDAY, 13 2021

HAVE A HAPPY ONE 🥂

I’m here telling myself better late than never while writing this at 3a.m because the new year seems to have served me insomnia. Just kidding though about the insomnia but really it’s 3a.m and actually when I think of it, I might be insomniac.

Source :Google

Anyways happy new year citizenries, (exactly what I meant when I said better late than never). How’s your year going on? What plans do you have for the year? Any resolutions?(Don’t tell me they’re yours to keep). Have you written them down on your diary or anything? Not that I have…

Source: Google

When the year was a day old a friend told me that it’s girls who write their resolutions like advertisements. I object though

Source :Google

With last year’s happenings I don’t know what to expect of this year but let’s hope it won’t be like this one meme I saw.

Maybe these are what we refer to as 3a.m thoughts

Lotsa Love
LYDRAH🧡🍂

BOTTLED FEELINGS

Love is what you make,
Hearts colliding
Dreams creating illusion of being permanent and,
Lately I’ve been wondering what this love really is?
Is it possible for hearts to just meet and collide?
To meet someone and it’s a just flawless vibe?

My research has been telling me Love is like a chair you want to sit on, the shape of which determines your posture or
Love is more like three crying kids in the back of the car after a bad week at work, when you’ve barely slept for days and you’ve been fighting with your beloved about the same damn thing for the last two weeks, and you have an overwhelming urge to just drop it all and run away because my God this can’t be what the rest of my life will look like!

But you end up coming back home after all.

My comprehension is love means different things at different places, circumstances and situations and maybe, just maybe there’s nothing like bad timing because the heart doesn’t choose when to love and who to love.

Just like any other heart, it’s not like mine has had a choice
See this love, I always say like trust it’s a stalwart word
But I know better what my heart has been feeling, tingly – ticklish feels from his thought and how reluctant he is to give my mind a break,
Thinking of his corky laugh, his sweet words that have grown in me, how he makes me smile without even trying, how my eyes light up from a notification from him,
How love songs feel so soothing to my cochlea these days and what it would feel if it were different.

But somehow I wish this heart had a choice because maybe, just maybe there’s a bad timing to love,
and now I have to keep this feelings bottled like the doodle I made.

Lotsa Love
LYDRAH 🧡 🍂

STAYING POSITIVE MILLENNIAL STEREOTYPED

Staying positive does not mean things will turn out okay. Rather it is knowing that YOU will be okay no matter how things turn out.

Staying positive has got to be everyone’s expectation of them and others over the years. It has become an anthem and mostly in this current century where technology is revolutionised and on far another high level. Social media life encourages you to stay positive always because people you follow are only preaching positivity, so why not follow that? Celebrities you love are talking of positivity on their posts, so why not embrace that? Whenever I log onto my Instagram page eighty percent of the posts I come across while scrolling down are people’s pictures captioned with either positivity quotes or just general positivity nothing complex like it could only be a vibe. Like when they quote “positive vibes only”, “staying positive is the new norm” and the rest. Most of these social media life is a scam. Trust me if I were a public figure or a celebrity this instant I would love people to see that I’ve got all my shit figured out and that goes the same for the people you look up to or you follow on the platforms.

I’m not against staying positive actually it’s a very healthy emotion to incorporate in your daily lifestyle but what you have to understand is you can’t stay positive always. Lost your job?Great! That’s an opportunity to explore your passions. Boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with you? Might as well be an opportunity to explore your sex life. Parents disowned you? Might lead to your road to freedom. You see all this positive responses encourage you, they make you feel like it’s okay to have gone through that, I mean it’s not the end of the world after all but the truth is life is not always sunshine and stars sometimes its rains and rainbows. Just because you’re encouraging yourself doesn’t mean its going to be easy, staying positive even when your business is falling is not going to assist bring it up in fact it might frustrate you even more and maybe depression, mild or severe.

A friend asked me of a business I had ventured into and I said it was difficult. I wasn’t lying when I said that. I know he expected me to be all about positivity as he even asked why I ventured into it in the first place and of course he added about being positive. When I was walking into that business I didn’t tell myself it was going to be smooth. Every road has a bump. I knew challenges would be there but also something good would come out of it. If we only took onto things because they are easy we wouldn’t have famous entrepreneurs or lawyers or engineers. We wouldn’t have anything for that matter because the road to any career or success is bumpy. Sometimes you just want to quit school. I mean waking up early, doing exams and stressing over how  your GPA will go about each semester. Who wouldn’t want a stress-free life?

As Mark Manson quotes in his book, sometimes life sucks and the healthiest thing you can do is admit it. People betray us. Businesses fail. School sucks. Things you didn’t expect happen and life is full of shit and that’s okay. He also goes ahead to say, denying negative emotions leads to experiencing deeper and more prolonged negative emotions and to emotional dysfunction. He adds that constant positivity is a form of avoidance, not a valid solution to life’s problems. One important thing I’ve taken from him is that negative emotions are a necessary component of emotional health and to deny negativity is to perpetuate problems rather than solve them.

So it’s okay to not feel positive today or to wake up tomorrow feeling like shit.

Check out my book Men In Her Life on Wattpad https://my.w.tt/GH3c8uiCF9

XOXO 🧡 🧡

BEAUTY MARKS

The day I met you I began to forget a life without you

You taught me how to treasure the parts of myself I felt didn’t deserve love
You taught me to love my flaws ;to embrace them because they are my beauty marks

Now I’m scared of what the future would be like without you in it

Remember to Stay home and stay safe ☺️

Xoxo 😍

STAY HOME, STAY SAFE

Hello my lovely readers,


Saying I missed you will be a great understatement. I’ve missed updating you and throwing all my thoughts in here and as usual you receiving them(very grateful for this by the way) . 2020 has been super crazy and frustrating, far from our expectations but all that matters is we are breathing and this is really important.

Forgive your girl over here. She’s been super lazy and some issues here and there but you know as I always say I’m here now like I never left. Haha

Quarantine has been everything in one. Happy, frustrating, boring, mixed feelings… Blah blah blah. Really it’s just everything

I don’t know how your quarantine been going down. Share with me in the comments ( here). Mine has been nothing interesting just taking selfies mostly (this here is part of my life, lil strange addiction), reading books, sleeping like my life depends on it and other silly stuff you don’t want to know about .

Despite the fact that 2020 has not been fair, my goal has been Happiness Over Everything and I’ve been trying my very best to live it and I can say it’s been working. What has been your every monthly goal this 2020 ? If you don’t have one feel free to share mine. It’s really healthy especially during this pandemic. Being happy will at least take your mind off all that is going on right now. It works for me so I’m hoping it’ll do the same for you

Reminder: IT’LL BE FINE
Also STAY AT HOME and KEEP SAFE

And I Love you all and appreciate you as always

QUARANTINE AND CHILL

Times like this you are most likely to get bored. I’m saying this because I’ve been feeling the same although you probably might be feeling different and it’s okay. If you’re an extrovert this might be harder for you and introverts may be tad bit bored but it’s all boredom. To mild introverts and extroverts the situation may just be the same. We may all be in need of an activity to keep our minds and bodies occupied in this Quarantine period.

Here are some of the activities you can do during this quarantine moment:

  1. Read a book: I understand books are not everyone’s friend and this may apply mostly to book lovers. Reading a book will keep you quite busy and your day will probably pass smoothly. I know you have a favorite author, read their books. You can also read books of other authors, maybe authors you’ve never read their books before. Also, you don’t have to get hard-copies, online books are there for you. There are different apps like Google books, Wattpad, Any book, Amazon Kindle and other online book apps you may have.
  2. Do some workouts: You may be asking yourself, ‘what do I need to do this for?’ Workouts are a better way to keep your mind clear and your body active. Try some YouTube tutorials they can be useful to assist in being fit and maybe achieving a goal you wanted to. You can also do them for fun as crazy as it may sound.

3.Try out new recipes: Cooking may not be a thing for everyone like personally I’m not a fan of cooking. But if you love cooking and trying out new things, this might be the ideal time for you to try out new recipes.

  1. Write a bucket list: There are probably some things you wanted to do or you want to do when all this is over. Preparing a bucket list may be the way to go about it. Write down all the activities you want to do after quarantine and some of the things you’d like to accomplish.
  2. Binge watch : I know you have a favorite TV show or a movie that you like watching maybe on Netflix or anywhere else. You can watch numerous episodes each day after reading your book or any other activity.
  3. Learn something new: Make something out of this quarantine period. It might be the ideal time for you to learn something you’ve never tried before like drawing, painting and/or other activities you feel like trying out. You can try out DIY face masks for instance or different hairstyles outdo.
  4. Try out Tik-Tok challenges: This may not sound productive but a little fun never hurt no one. This is a better way to of having fun and staying away from boredom. You might not be a good dancer but really who cares? Tell you what, I succumbed to the Tik-Tok pressure and I’m a very terrible dancer and I’m even too lazy to make a video but it’s fun trying out the challenges as terrible as I am and it’s fun by just watching others do it. Look, what I’m trying to say is, you don’t have to be perfect the goal here is to have fun.

You might be having other ideas of how to keep your quarantine busy and fun. Feel free to share.

Remember to Stay home, keep Safe and be Happy!🌺

XOXO🖤

IGNITION

You are someone’s favorite flower 🌸”

Heey lovelies 😍,
It’s been so long, your girl here been super lazy and shit 😂. How’s your 2020 going on though? I hope it’s filled with love and hope.

Happy readings on this minute part from my book Heart Chains. Reminder:If you haven’t read it, you can find it on my Wattpad profile @lydrahmntrude

You remind what butterflies feel like with your devilish charms

With your delectable kiss I know what goosebumps feel like

Your cuddles with that spooning position wrecks havoc across my emotions

You ignite the circuits of my highest potential

You know I love y’all and appreciate you the most

XOXO ❣️ ❣️

WHAT MY EARS SAVOUR

You are what you listen to

They say good music should be appreciated, and that’s exactly what I try to do every break of dawn, every moment my head’s heavy and my heart’s cold or warm. Whatever the situation even when my world’s tearing apart I still do.

Look, I don’t know what kind of music you love to your ears. I probably will never understand what type of lyrics your ears embrace.

But this is me, I don’t do primitive . I love my music dark, I love my lyrics sensual, I’m in love with music that only caresses my cochlea. I savour music that makes love to my eardrums.

Don’t be so quick to judge. I’m in no need of being painted. I’m no Saint and don’t saints sin too? Yes I listen to arrays of sex songs, hard or not. I listen to love making songs and my love making lyrics are of decorum. I mean my music don’t promote sexual abuse, it does not make you feel deprived of your dignity by the society. No. It appreciates all forms of humanity.

The skies with the moon and stars mean much more to me than the skies with a bright sunshine. The moon makes me dance in ways the sun will never comprehend. To more reasons I love my lyrics dark and depressing. I love my lyrics soaring through my labyrinth threatening to tear its details apart. My ears savour what takes my spirit to a whole new world, where delusions are brought to reality

Is good music really good if it don’t tear your soul apart, if it don’t scatter your feelings all over making you feel like you want to escape reality and if it don’t trigger a ton of emotions?

Is good music really good if it don’t make you feel perfection exists in another world, if it don’t touch your soul in every sensual way, if it don’t make you happy beyond your expectations and if the lyrics don’t intoxicate you?

Is good music really good if it don’t take you to a place of uninterrupted calm and tranquillity?

I mean my ears savour dirt in decorum, darkness in it’s purest form and that makes my music substantial.

THURSDAY ❣️❣️

BECAUSE HAPPINESS DESERVES YOU

Because you deserve happiness and happiness deserves you 🌸

Been quite long. I won’t explain why and about life; It’s quite a lot. I’m here, all that matters.
This, today is more like a life motivation but it’s also poetry to me. Yes I can do motivation 😂.
Enjoy 😍 😍

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror
And you see someone else?

Someone so broken
Someone so vulnerable
Someone so fragile
Someone who has lost every sparkle in life

And you try to smile but it’s a smile that doesn’t touch the brim of your eyes
A sad smile

You feel burdened more than you can hold

And you break down and lose hope of tomorrow

But then you remember you’re still breathing
And decide to bring that smile back

Because at least something good exists

What I’m saying simply is ;
There is more to life than just it’s increasing speed,
do not be tortured by not properly guessing what will make you happy,
stop drowning for people who won’t even get in the damn water for you,
celebrate every tiny victory,
seek more to life than just pain,
use your tears to grow new beginnings,
and always Be thankful

If you feel broken or depressed or anything negative I hope this made you feel better about yourself, about life. You deserve happiness 🌸

See y’all on Thursday
XOXO ❣️ ❣️